The Samuel L. Jackson Talking Alarm Clock

December 5th, 2009

I had an idea about two weekends ago for a great product. It has come to my attention that many Americans rely on “talking” alarm clocks. What seems lacking to me in these clocks are options other than the stock female voice announcing the time. Not being a morning person, I need something a little more strident. That’s why I would like to bring to market the Samuel L. Jackson Talking Alarm Clock (SLJTAC). I envision the SLJTAC having one initial message and three snooze messages triggered at five minute intervals — each one offering a more forceful extortion to get out of bed. I could see the messages starting with something like: “I’m sorry, did I wake you from a peaceful slumber?” Then moving on to something like: “get your honky ass out of bed or I will lay my wrath upon thee!” Really, I would defer to Sam Jackson on the specific message; I think he would know what would be most effective.

This clock would also have the option of importing .wav files for custom announcements. Similar to my PlayStationPortlable, I see the SLJTAC having a USB and MemorySlick ports. Basically, you would hook the SLJTAC to your Mac or PC via USB cable and then move .wav files over. The computer would recognize the SLJTAC and would treat it like a hard drive. There would be a couple sets of folders for user sounds and it would just be a matter of dragging and dropping files. I’m thinking there would also be a SLJTAC website similar to iTunes where users could go and buy new sounds. There could be a whole market of B-list celebrities. How about waking up to Mr. T? Or Chuck Norris? The possibilities are endless really. You could also have announcements in foreign languages as well, opening up a huge domestic and international market as well.

At this point I have a good idea of what the software and hardware would need to do. Now I need capital and some connections for manufacturing. Of course I would have to SLJ onboard, but there would of course be a generous cut for him based on the number of units sold. The great thing about this product is the flexibility. Being able to download sound files sets this talking alarm clock concept apart from all the other current products on the market.

Entry Filed under: Randomness